Pathway Blooms

At the end of 2012, our oldest daughter found out she was pregnant. After many years of waiting, a grandchild at last – our very first! We were all ecstatic beyond words! However, as is common these days, the news wasn't to be made public until after the 3 month scan. I thought I would pop! I couldn't wait to tell my friends… and anyone else who’d care to listen!

We eagerly awaited the scan day, which happened to coincide with me having coffee with an old friend, (she’s actually not that old) just days before school went back for the new year. I had waited 8 weeks for this day, so I asked Kristen to call me as soon as the scan was complete. My friend would be the first to know!

Sitting looking out over the ocean, enjoying coffee and a catch-up, I remember it vividly, as if it happened only yesterday, like a moment frozen in time. I recall my phone ringing and the almost explosive excitement as I answered the call. I remember too, the flat tone in my daughter’s voice, the heart-stopping feeling of rising apprehension and panic as she spoke. “I've had the scan Mum, and it seems there may be a problem with the baby.” She went on to explain the spinal cavity measurements were very abnormal and cause for significant concern, so they were sending her off for blood tests.

The next afternoon my husband and I took another call from her, they had the results of the blood tests and they confirmed the very real possibility the bub would be born with a chromosomal syndrome called Trisomy 13, a condition associated with severe intellectual disability and physical abnormalities in many parts of the body. Due to the severity of the abnormalities, few babies live more than a days or weeks after birth and only 5-10% live past one year.

As you can imagine we were devastated: devastated for our daughter and son-in-law, for ourselves, for our family and for the little bub! I can’t adequately describe the hours after the call. Our daughter and son-in-law needed time alone together, to process the news, and this meant we couldn't even hug our girl and cry with her. That was hard and it was lonely too.

I talk to God often but especially in difficult and trying times. I ask Him for help and I ask for wisdom, and I often experience these in a tangible way. However this time I felt like I couldn't pray, besides I didn't know what to pray.

On the second day after receiving the news, I had a remarkable experience – another moment that seems frozen in time. It was a hot Sunday afternoon and I was lying on the bed, tired but unable to sleep. I remember talking with God, telling Him how I felt and telling Him I didn't know what to pray.

This bit is hard to describe, but I felt as though God’s instant reply was, “Pray for a whole and healthy baby.” Those exact words….so I did.

I'm going to share a little of my journey over the weeks that followed, and although it’s hard to put it into words, I’ll do my best.

A few days later, on the Monday, I was feeling pretty low, perhaps still a little numb. I was sitting at the table reading, when, for want of a better way of describing it, words came charging over those written on the page and indeed over my thinking. There’s no other way to describe it. I wasn't thinking music, lyrics or anything other than what I was reading. The words that came charging in, were, “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” I knew the words well because they are from a very old hymn that I love, called ‘Great Is Thy Faithfulness’, written in the first part of last century.

This is the part I really have difficulty describing. At that moment, sitting at our table with my cup of tea in front of me, it felt as though the God of the universe had reached down and lifted me out of a dark, sad place. I felt no sadness, only hope, the most incredible experience … and just the beginning too!

For the rest of that day, without invitation, I found myself singing or whistling the hymn. It was stuck in my head, like a cracked record. It was an amazing day and I couldn't believe the way I felt. It was as though yesterday I had been in the depths of Winter and now I was basking in the warmth and beauty of Spring, with all its hope; hope of new beginnings and of new life. I’d never experienced anything quite like it before and I had trouble getting my head around it!

I find God often ‘talks’ to me through words I read in the Bible. The very next day I was reading a verse in the middle the Bible. It finished like this, 'Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.’ I was more than a wee bit taken aback by the exact same words at the end of the verse, exactly the same as those from the previous morning.

I like to write about important events in my life so that day I began journaling.

The very next day, while reading my Bible, these words fairly jumped out at me…“Write this down for the next generation so that people not yet born will praise God.” I was blown away! An unlikely event, but it seemed I was one step ahead on that one. J

I was beginning to feel as though God was walking every step of every day with me, telling me what I needed to hear, daily reassuring me He was with me and He understood how I felt. Walking with Him was making a powerful difference to my journey! I felt like something inside of me had shifted, I'd been given wings and I was flying above the uncertainty. I’d been given the precious gift of hope.

Over the coming days, again and again, I read verses that indicated God knew exactly how I felt and what I was thinking. He answered my questions and He reassured me often that He was doing the journey with me. It was huge and it was life changing!

Time and time again the words I read seemed written just for me, and they fed a growing hope. Words like, “God is gracious – it is He who makes things right, our most compassionate God. God takes the side of the helpless.”

Some days later our youngest daughter rang. She told me she believed the baby was going to be fine and she shared this verse with me,‘…all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe – people and things, animals and atoms – get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies…’

As you can imagine, I was talking to God often in those uncertain days. I began to feel a growing sense that He telling me the baby would be born whole and healthy. However there was a shadow across my thinking. I was concerned that I might be putting my own spin on the words I was reading, that I wanted so badly for this baby to be born well and whole, that I was reading something into the words. So one morning as I talked to God I told Him that too. Within minutes I read this in Psalms, ‘Remember what you said to me, your servant – I hang on those words for dear life! These words hold me up in bad times; yes your promises rejuvenate me…I don’t budge from your revelation.’

To cut a very long story short, almost four long weeks after the very first scan, and after a sample of the placenta had been taken, our daughter rang to say the results revealed no evidence of abnormality.

No words can convey my emotions when I read these words a few hours later, so I'm not even going to try to craft some clever description! Suffice to say that when I read them, I cried!

‘ All you who fear God, how blessed you are. Enjoy the blessing, revel in the goodness!

...The children around your table as fresh and promising as young olive shoots.

Stand in awe of God’s “Yes”. Oh how He blesses the one who fears God. Enjoy the good life…enjoy your grandchildren.’

…and we have done just that!

Five months later Jackson Charlie was born, and he was perfection!

We now have two adorable little grandsons, and they bring us such joy!