Recently my husband
and I celebrated thirty six years of marriage - by today’s standards a pretty impressive
milestone. We met almost forty years ago. Suddenly I feel very old! I guess it’s not all bad though, it's a reasonable explanation for the aches and
pains that have crept into my days and my nights. ‘Badges of honour’ perhaps?!
When Jeff and I met all
those years ago, we were fresh-faced eighteen year old students. Some would say
a most unlikely combination. One of us from less than affluent country origins
- the other growing up in a well-off city home, one prone to excitement and
chatter - the other thoughtful and often a reluctant speaker, very different
chosen vocations and academic standing. Similarity was, and still is, a rare
ingredient in our partnership.
In those early, very
exciting days, time together was rationed. We survived on occasional phone calls
during the week, counting the hours till the weekend. Friday night was the best
night of the week and Sunday night was the worst! Hellos and goodbyes were frequent.
On weekends we spent long hours in each other’s company. They were special days, excitement and anticipation our constant companions.
Holidays at home in
the country with my family, were now more difficult. They meant separation. The
days dragged between letters, phone calls and the occasional visit. Oh how we
looked forward to those visits, literally counting down the hours!
A handful of years
later we encountered an even more difficult period of separation: my first
teaching post in the country. Weeks were spent apart: weeks planning a wedding
and separated by a nine hour drive. Again letters and phone calls kept us going.
I spent many long evening hours in a breezy telephone box outside the deserted
Post Office in the main street of a mining town. Interspersed amongst the everyday
and the mundane, we dreamed and planned our future together.
***
These days we have
much more choice when and how we spend time in each other’s company. When we’re
both at home we snatch moments together, here and there - a quick cuddle
between jobs or a cup of tea together. Walking down to our local Dome and sharing
coffee, gives us the opportunity for more in-depth catch-up time. Sometimes we
find ourselves together on a chore or kicking back and just relaxing in each
other’s company.
Together-time in our
relationship is a mix of brief encounters, special moments, toiling alongside each other, shared struggles, occasions of celebration and sometimes just sitting
beside each other in silence.
In a roundabout sort
of way, all this reminiscing was sparked by our pastor’s message yesterday,
about our shared times with God. Then this morning during some of those shared
moments with God I read this…
“I will not show you what is on the road ahead, but I will
thoroughly equip you for the journey. My living Presence is your Companion each
step of the way. Stay in continual communication with Me, whispering My Name
whenever you need to redirect your thoughts. Thus, you can walk through this
day with your focus on Me. My abiding Presence is the best road map available.”
I've spent some time comparing
the way I do both my relationships with my husband and with God, and I've noticed similarities. Both consist of brief encounters, intimate moments,
unexpected and spontaneous connections, deep and meaningful times and quiet hours
in each other’s presence. It takes a rich mix of different kinds of encounters,
small and large, to build a strong and authentic relationship.
I found myself also
pondering the times when these two important relationships don’t feel so strong
and vibrant. Often, these are times when I'm distracted by others things and
other voices, and the relationships most important to me suffer.
Yesterday’s reminder
helped me see again, the importance of even the smallest, most incidental
encounter with my husband and with my God. These sometimes fleeting moments,
though they sometimes seem inconsequential, have the power to enrich, bless and
even transform us. The more of these we have, the better we know each other!
Surely a winning ingredient for any relationship
Thank you, Stephen.
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